i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dick very happy bro
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
