I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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