he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
