Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
