Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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