i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
