Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
