GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
