In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize