I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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