I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize