I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
