So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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