I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
