I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
