was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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