I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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