he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize