Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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