Betty ford says i'm here all night
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
