i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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