come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
