NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
vagina is talking i cant
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
