So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Drake has all the answers
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