apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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