I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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