three words: i give head
three words: not that well
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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