Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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