Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Randomize
