It's Friday. Sex?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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