that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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