Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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