I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
