I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
