I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
