You work out of a Hotel?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
