Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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