I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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