Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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