I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
