Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
