Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
