No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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