It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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