**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
