coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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