I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
