Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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