you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Someone signed my nipple.
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