I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Drake has all the answers
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
