I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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