Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
