eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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