whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
it's like iHOP with fire
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
