he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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