Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
