Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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