A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
