so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
