We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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